In 1956 I was 16 years old and chanced upon a freak show passing through Coney Island. There I saw "The Over-Bearded Man".
Instantly enthralled by the spectacle and glamour of circus life I became determined to join the show. For the next few weeks I searched for some physical countenance that defied the average.
Imitating my hero, I began to try and grow copious facial hair but after two weeks I realised that, at best, I would be coined "Bum-fluff-man." Next I began to eat as much as I could in an attempt to become World's Largest Man. This soon proved expensive and I ended up having my stomach pumped after ingesting 3 tubs of lard trying to accelerate the process at low cost. There was, however, an interesting side effect to my overeating and I finally talked the show into hiring me under the guise "Pimple Man." After a disappointing first night turnout I was fired after only 25 minutes. Soon after, the freak show left town and I knew I would forever remain relegated the "normal".